First: Road Safety
My senior once told me, “Frequent night walks invite trouble.” All of you here, young and old, left and right, are educated folks—no need for me to explain this saying. But let me clarify: these days, streets are well-lit, and there are far more cars than ghosts. So I’ve revised it to: frequent night walks inevitably mean encountering cars. Back in the late '80s, most nighttime drivers were usually out drinking. But in this new century, besides drunk drivers, there are also those out for pleasure, chasing women, smuggling goods, or just struggling to make ends meet. In short, these people are either not fully alert or utterly exhausted, so their driving is far from safe. As a pedestrian, you stand no chance against a hunk of metal. So remember: either stay home at night, or if you must go out, steer clear of headlights. The farther you keep, the better—unless you want your family to cry over you.
Now, let’s talk about the second aspect of road safety:
What if you anticipate a robbery? What if you’re the one robbing others? What if you’re the victim? This isn’t something to joke about. Don’t think you’re some hero—ever seen someone’s face carved up? Or an ear chopped off? No? Well, consider yourself lucky. Listen carefully.
I hate to even mention the face-carving part—it’s too gruesome. But as for the ear-chopping, the cause is unclear, but here’s how it went down: back when I was in school, sometime in the early '90s, I saw a few guys pull something out of a newspaper tube. A flash of light—and then one guy was clutching his bleeding ear while bystanders just watched. On the ground lay something that looked like an ear. The outcome? Unknown.
Now, seriously—what should you do if you see someone else being robbed? First, you’re not Wu Song. Second, you’re not Schwarzenegger. And you definitely don’t have a rapid-fire machine gun. So I don’t recommend charging in to play hero. Based on my analysis, ignoring this advice usually ends with you curled up on the ground, groaning in pain. If you’re unlucky, you’ll be covered in blood—not the robber’s, but splattered on the road. If your conscience gets the better of you, call 110. Be concise: say someone’s about to die. That’s the best way to prevent a fatality. Use your own phone or a public one—your call. But if you use your mobile, don’t let the robbers see it, or you might become their next target.
If you’re the one being robbed—or mugged—remember, these are two different things. Lawyers will tell you, that one word makes all the difference, like the line between heaven and hell. Either way—

First: you must remember, you’re not Rambo, nor are you some martial arts master like Ouyang Feng. You’re certainly not the carefree Monkey King, either. In movies, heroes take a few hits and still look cool—but that’s not you. You’re just flesh and blood. A brick to the head, and you’ll be kissing the pavement. If you’re unlucky, you might never recognize your parents again. Even worse, if it’s a club or a sledgehammer, you’ll be chatting with the Grim Reaper on the underworld’s bridge. I’ve heard a saying: “You have your club, I have my skull.” Whoever said that has probably been insane for years. So you educated folks, don’t fall for it.

Second: knowing you’re just human isn’t enough—you need the right mindset. Attitude is everything. So silently repeat to yourself, over and over: “I’m just flesh and blood. I can’t take a brick to the head. I’ve got an 80-year-old mother and a baby who needs milk. I can’t afford a brick to the head.” Think it’s too crude? Fine. I know there are pros here who can kill with words. They’ll come up with something sharper. Trust me, after a year of practice, this idea will stick.

Third: knowing you’re human isn’t enough—you also need some practical know-how. Who are you likely to run into? Organized gangs? Almost zero chance. Why? Because the cost of organizing a robbery far outweighs anything you could ever have. So what you’ll mostly face are aimless petty thieves. Once you realize that, it gets easier. These guys usually don’t care much for life or death. If you fight back, it could be mutual destruction. So my advice: give them what they want, but not your life. Hand over your cash, then go your separate ways. But here’s the catch—if they demand more than money—like tying you up or threatening your life—then it’s time to fight back. Use whatever you’ve got—even your teeth. Go all out.
Let me tell you why thugs are thugs and devils are devils—they’ve got no conscience, no moral bottom line. Money is their god. So don’t try to talk them down. Sure, you might be great with words here, but trust me, your silver tongue won’t scare off criminals. Ever seen anyone command a donkey with words alone?

Fourth: if you think playing it safe is too cowardly, I suggest you reflect for three days. Think about it—most robbers are drifters. Best-case scenario? Years from now, maybe in some random year, they’ll get caught. Until then, you’ll have to avoid places like Cat’s Eye. Still not satisfied? Then I’ll teach you some basics.

No need for self-castration to learn this skill—though you can if you want. First, you should be under 28, with a death-defying attitude. Then, run 5 kilometers daily—that could save your life if things go wrong. Next, practice hitting stacks of paper. To boost effectiveness, draw your boss’s face on them. Even better if you have their photo and birth chart. Imagine them begging for mercy as you smash away. Don’t spit on the paper—it’ll ruin the stack. That’d be a waste of good money.

After years of training, you can test your skills—but only against unarmed, solo thugs. If they have knives, back off. Three or more attackers? Abort. If they’re waving machetes, run—head for crowds. Your options then? Escape or fight to the death. Choose wisely.

Fifth: if you can’t run, improvise. Your teeth, your pen, even your watch strapped to your fist—these are weapons. Your phone? A great tool, but don’t throw it like a brick. Keep it handy. Worst case? Take off your jacket, wrap it around your arm as a shield. Aim to block wrists, knives—even protect your head from clubs. Then you’ll hear it: a crisp snap. That’s a bone breaking.

If all else fails, drop to the ground. Play dead. Yes, play dead. You’ll live to see another day.