1: The neighbor’s daughter was asked to leave kindergarten on her first day. Here’s what happened: On her first day at kindergarten, all the kids were crying, but she wasn’t. The teacher praised her and then left her alone to comfort the other children. Just when the situation had calmed down, she said, “Mommy and Daddy don’t want us anymore,” and the whole scene instantly went out of control. By the time the teacher managed to calm the kids down again, she added, “We’re going to be sold!” and everything went haywire once more—some kids were crying so hard they could barely breathe. When the teacher finally got them settled and it was time for lunch, just as the seats were assigned and the food was served, she declared, “I won’t eat anything that’s not made by Mommy,” causing another uproar, with some kids even throwing their plates in tears. Finally, when school let out in the afternoon and she was the first to be picked up, she threw herself into her mom’s arms—but then turned her head and said, “We’ll be sent back here again tomorrow.” That time, things went far beyond just being out of control.
2: The Buddha said: When you see through someone but choose not to expose them, you understand the meaning of forgiveness; when you dislike someone but don’t confront them, you understand the highest form of respect. In life, there will always be things you don’t like, and people who don’t like you. Tea has only two states: floating and sinking; tea drinkers have only two postures: picking up and putting down. Life is like tea—when it sinks, be at peace; when it floats, be indifferent. You must know how to both grasp and let go. Sometimes, choosing not to fight or compete isn’t because you’ve lost, but because you’ve come to understand that you should let things take their natural course, focus on being yourself, and leave the rest to time and fate.
3: An old couple was having an argument, and the husband always gave in to his wife. The wife asked, “Why do you always give in to me during arguments? Sometimes I’m clearly in the wrong.” The husband replied, “Because you are mine. Even if I win the argument, what’s the point? I might win the logic, but I lose the relationship. Lose you, and I lose everything in life!” In a relationship, there should always be one person who argues and one who laughs, one who fights and one who soothes. I really love this passage—if you have someone who cherishes, spoils, and loves you like this, treasure them dearly. Life is short, and even if there’s an afterlife, we may never meet again!
4: Don’t treat colleagues as friends. Don’t tell anyone you’re quitting unless you’re absolutely sure. Kids care about right and wrong; bosses only care about results. Your boss will always be your boss—even if you sometimes feel you get along well, in their eyes, you’re always a subordinate. No one cares about you when you’re poor and in the city, but relatives flock to you when you’re rich and in the mountains. Don’t believe it? Look at the drinks in your cup—the first toast is always to the richest person. Don’t make any decisions when you’re angry—it’ll lead to regret. Don’t share your true feelings with your boss, and don’t be friends with colleagues. Never lend money to others—you’ll lose a friend and gain an enemy. Never go into business with your brothers. When you’re broke, don’t join the crowd; when your voice carries no weight, don’t try to advise others. Wait until you succeed, then drink and talk about your original intentions. When you’re not strong enough, any praise is just mockery. Solve problems with money whenever possible—don’t rely on favors. Advice from others is guidance, but experience comes only from what you go through yourself. When you’re out and about and encounter someone you really can’t stand, don’t show it—learn to hide your feelings.
5: Tang Bohu was naturally flirtatious and hung around brothels. One day, the madam said, “Handsome Tang, the ten taels of silver you left with us are all gone.” Tang Bohu replied, “No problem, bring me some paper and ink—I’ll paint something for you to sell.” The madam brought the supplies, and Tang Bohu went into his room, shut the door, and after a short while, came out with a painting. He said to the madam, “Take this apple painting of mine to sell.”The madam sold it for ten taels of silver. Before long, the money was gone again, and the madam went to press him for payment. Tang Bohu asked for paper and ink again, and the madam peeked through the door, curious to see how he could paint something so quickly. She saw Tang Bohu smear his own butt with ink, sit on the paper, and voilà—a lifelike apple appeared on the page. The madam took the painting and sold it for another ten taels. But the madam felt annoyed—thinking Tang Bohu was truly amazing, able to paint apples without using his hands—and decided to imitate him. She tried the same method to paint an apple and took it to the market to sell. The buyer called her painting a fake. (Why do you think that happened?)
6: About that “thing”... Historians call it reproduction; biologists call it mating; politicians call it obscenity; literature calls it the clouds and rain; law calls it sexual relations; art calls it fusion; philosophy calls it interaction; in ancient times, it was called the wedding night; in a car, it’s called car shaking; online slang calls it merging; in English, it’s called making love; in Beijing dialect, it’s called hitting the cannon; in Cantonese, it’s called \Lhai; what do you call it where you’re from?
7: Jack Ma has 150 billion yuan. Starting from the day you were born, he gives you five million every day. You wouldn’t finish spending Jack Ma’s money until you’re over 80 years old. So the question is: how would you spend five million per day?! (No buying houses, land, or islands—only consumption, and not even buying anything that costs 1 yuan for 10 yuan—you have to pay normal prices.) We beg all netizens: how do you spend five million every day?!
8: My cousin’s company had a get-together, and the boss got drunk and accidentally announced that he was firing him. After sobering up, the boss felt guilty but, to maintain his authority, decided to stick with the mistake. My cousin, not willing to accept it, pulled out all the stops to plead with the boss. After much effort, he finally got reinstated. Happy, my cousin hosted a dinner to thank the boss and colleagues. After a hearty meal, the boss, looking flush with satisfaction, once again announced that he was firing him…
9: Mom took out a piece of paper today, sat down seriously, and said to me, “Son, this is the contract you signed with me.” “Contract? What contract?” “You promised that you’d get married before you turned 26 and give me a grandchild before you turned 28. Otherwise, you’d pay back all the tuition I spent on your schooling, and I’d cut off all support.” “Mom, when did I sign such a stupid contract?” “When you were five years old!”
10: Just now, I was waiting for a friend in front of a mall in my Lamborghini when I saw a guy on the other side of the street proposing. He got rejected, and the girl said, “We’re not right for each other. It’s not because you’re poor, really, you’re a nice guy, and thank you for being so good to me.” Then, an Audi A6 pulled up, and a bald, creepy middle-aged man in his fifties got out, put his arm around the girl, and started to walk away. I couldn’t take it anymore—I started the engine, turned around, got out, opened the car door, gave a 90-degree bow, and said to the guy, “Young master, there you are? I’ve been looking everywhere for you. The master says you need to go to the headquarters for a meeting—he asked me to pick you up. Let’s go.” The girl was completely stunned… Without paying attention to the boy’s dazed expression, I helped him into the car, hit the gas, and drove off. Two seconds later, I heard heart-wrenching screams. Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw the girl still chasing after us. Guys, do you think what I did was right?
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