@Soul_spa left us with our first impression as a Tao fan (a fan of the Qing'ao family, the Huang Haitao family) who shared life reflections on the forum. With the theme "Borrow Some Color from Life," she expressed her belief that life must be colorful and the soul must be enriched. Then, she further demonstrated her viewpoint through action, and her sharing about the journey became even more wonderful. Her eloquent writing and heartfelt insights made us feel that her name truly reflected her essence, as if she had given our souls a spa treatment.
In June, on the day her son graduated from kindergarten, she set off with him. Twelve days, from Beijing to Northern Xinjiang—she called it their first journey together as mother and son. During the trip, her son transformed from a little darling at the beginning into a responsible young man who could help his mother!
Although she didn’t have much experience traveling with her son, her keen observation and ability to summarize led her to draw many insights from this first trip. In her words, it was a “shared life challenge, involving willpower, courage, character, mindset...”
After reading this interview, we were even more impressed by how she analyzed and explained the insights from the journey in a clear and understandable way. We believe that after reading this exclusive interview, you won’t have to worry about traveling with your kids either!
“First times” always need some motivation. Why was this unprecedented trip possible? She said the original inspiration came from Huang Haitao!
I started following Brother Tao in March this year. After reading his story, besides feeling excited, thrilled, and moved, I was overwhelmed with the urge to travel. Before this, traveling was considered a big deal that required careful consideration—I worried about the child getting sick, the weather being bad, safety issues, and so on...
But now it’s different. I’ve developed the desire to travel. The words of Brother Tao kept echoing in my mind: “In one’s lifetime, one should have an impulse to travel.”
In June, I learned about a special train tour called “The Most Beautiful West.” My enthusiasm was instantly ignited—I felt that this itinerary was suitable for both me and my child in terms of timing, attractions, travel conditions, and other objective factors. So I informed my family that same day, signed up, and paid. This time, I only left myself the opportunity to take on the challenge.
Driven by the urge to travel, Soulspa embarked on this journey, initially just hoping to give her child some exercise. But witnessing her child’s rapid growth and transformation day by day completely exceeded her expectations. Now, let’s hear from the thoughtful and analytical Soulspa as she shares her story...
Since we rarely spoiled or indulged our son in our family education, he has always been quite sensible and mature for his age. But this first trip provided him with challenges that far exceeded my expectations.
After returning, I summarized his growth in five aspects for everyone’s reference.
1） Sense of Responsibility
Unlike trips with the whole family of three, since it was just me and my son, he felt like a man and consciously took care of himself, helped me with my luggage, and ran around taking care of things.
For example, at scenic spots, when it was time to gather, he would remind me and also ask the driver and guide to wait for me. Taking good photos for others was also one of our agreed responsibilities. During the trip, without me reminding him, he would take multiple shots of me and then let me choose the best one. He believed this was the safest way to take photos.
2） Social Skills
The child is naturally outgoing, but on the train, due to the lack of peers, he felt quite bored at one point. I told him to find a way to entertain himself, so he had to walk around the carriage. When he found someone willing to play with him, he would stay and interact; when others were busy, he would leave on his own. On the last day of the trip, he took care of a fellow traveler who had a fever but didn’t tell me. I think he had already built his own social world!
3） Resilience
Both his physical and psychological resilience improved.
The group meals weren’t always to his taste, but he learned not to complain—he could fill up on steamed buns dipped in tea.
In terms of psychological resilience, I found that his ability to cope was stronger than I had imagined. For instance, when a little girl refused to play with him and even shut him out of her cabin, he chose to manage his emotions on his own and continued greeting others, simply avoiding that cabin afterward. So later, when facing issues, I would reason with him but give him time to process and resolve things on his own.
4）Preliminary Sense of Challenge
During this trip, my son began to understand what a challenge is.
At the Overhanging Great Wall in Jiayuguan, he initially didn’t want to climb under the scorching heat. So I gave him two choices: one, neither of us would climb, and we’d wait at the foot of the wall—definitely uncomfortable in the heat, and he’d definitely regret it because who knows when we’d come again; or two, if he climbed, he definitely wouldn’t regret it because the view is beautiful!
After some internal struggle, he decided to take on the challenge and climb. Then I set another condition: once he decided to climb, he had to see it through to the end—no complaining no matter how hot or tired he got. He agreed, and along the way, he didn’t complain at all. In the end, we successfully reached the top!
After that, he successfully completed 1,068 steps at Kanas and had no problem sleeping alone when we returned to Beijing.
Hearing about the child’s changes from the heart spa, you can sense a mother’s expectations for her child, as well as the joy of witnessing his growth. Independence, responsibility, and the ability to take on challenges are perhaps the most basic qualities she hopes her son will possess. So, what insights did the heart spa gain by observing and analyzing both herself and her child from the same perspective?
Normally, being with the child every day, we only see him as a child—sometimes adorable, sometimes annoying—and we’re often puzzled by not being able to clearly discern his strengths, weaknesses, and traits. Over the course of 12 days, by placing him in the position of a social being and observing everything from the sidelines, it became much easier to discover the child’s strengths, weaknesses, and unique characteristics, including even my own strengths and shortcomings as a parent in educating him. These 12 days gave me a deeper understanding of my child, and this experience has been immensely helpful in guiding him in the future and refining my own parenting approach.
1） Parents should grow before their children
Parents must grow ahead of their children. If parents themselves are immature, unwilling to learn, or not proactive, how can they guide their children’s growth? Therefore, as parents, we must strive harder, keep learning, and improve ourselves in order to lead and accompany our children’s development.
2） Treat your son as a travel companion, not just a child
At the beginning of this trip, I told my son, “You should cherish every place’s experiences and scenery, because this is how the locals live—no matter how hot it is or how tough the conditions. Try to feel how the local people live, so no complaining or grumbling allowed.” In addition to carrying his own backpack and keeping a small daily log, my son’s task was to “take in the beautiful scenery with your eyes and heart, while my job is to capture it with the camera and turn it into an album. We also need to take photos of each other—we can’t rely on others to do it for us.” He accepted this approach, learned to take care of himself, and throughout the journey, he played in his own way while I photographed in mine. He never bothered me, and we both had a great time.
3） Actively guide when you notice your child isn’t doing well enough
A friend once said regarding children’s growth: Many parents only speak up when they can no longer tolerate their child’s flaws, but you point things out as soon as you feel they could be better.
This remark really made me think. Indeed, during a child’s growth, sharing your own experiences and insights with them at any time, transmitting more positive energy, and helping shape a positive way of thinking—all of this benefits the child. Even if they don’t fully understand it at the moment, they’ll grasp some of it and find it useful in the future. In contrast, many overindulgent parents only step in when they can no longer tolerate their child’s flaws, but this often yields half the results with twice the effort.
4） Mental development matters more than IQ development
Chinese-style education tends to have this mindset: when faced with problems in a child’s development, most parents say, “Don’t worry about it for now, let it develop naturally. Once they grow up and mature, things will get better. School will sort it out…” But what about in school? Most teachers focus mainly on students’ academic performance and grades, with little emphasis on cultivating values or emotional intelligence. As a result, there’s a gap in the timeline for teaching children about emotional intelligence, values, and life philosophies. This disconnect directly impacts Chinese children’s growth, and such children may only show signs of maladjustment when they reach adulthood or enter society—this is a serious issue.
Therefore, in interacting with my child, I pay extra attention to nurturing his mental well-being. For example, I constantly observe changes in his emotions and speech, guiding and sometimes even helping him process these feelings. For instance, during one unexpected incident where he became overly impatient, I helped him analyze the reasons and told him, “Stay calm, you will overcome the difficulty.” He remembered those words, and later, when our washing machine leaked and flooded the house, he helped me clean up while repeating them to me. That’s when I realized he had actually understood and retained everything I had said to him.
5） Create opportunities for your child’s growth anytime, anywhere
My husband doesn’t have much time to spend with our son, but the boy still needs to grow. What can I do? To give my child more experiences and opportunities for development, I had to take the initiative myself.
I identified several ways to foster his growth and seized opportunities whenever possible: 1) traveling with my son on my own; 2) finding suitable outdoor organizations for children and enrolling him in their activities; 3) bringing him along on short outdoor trips organized by fellow travelers.
Although road-tripping with my child has always been a dream of mine, he’s still too young, and without a travel companion, it’s quite challenging at this stage. Still, I firmly believe that as long as we step out, it counts as an experience—even if the form of the journey or the method of travel differs, we can set different challenge goals according to the situation. It’s important to help the child cherish every trip, assist them in creating lasting memories, analyze and summarize the experience together, and help them understand what they’ve gained.
During the trip, I was always mindful of my child while also paying attention to my own inner self. I believe the heart spa must have had many thoughts about her own transformation as well. And you—have you had similar reflections?
1）If you have a dream, pursue it; if you have passion, act on it
Often, we complain too much and have too many constraints. We lament the dullness of life and regret the monotony of our experiences, but rarely do we look within for the reasons. Early this year, I read about the story of the “Qingdao Youth Olympic Family—the Huang Haitao family of four traveling around China,” and I was deeply moved and inspired by their extraordinary journey. I even saw them as role models. So when an opportunity arose by chance, the urge to take my son on a trip welled up spontaneously. Thinking quickly led to action—I didn’t give myself time to overthink, fearing that time would dilute my passion and hesitation would stall my dreams. So I signed up on the spot, which made this trip happen and brought about insights beyond the ordinary…
2）Be optimistic, confident, strong, and independent
I believe that traveling with my son is not an ascetic journey but a form of training, not a trial. Therefore, I need to keep my own heart joyful and find ways to embellish the trip. Traveling between trains and hotels with no time to do laundry, I packed enough clothes for both of us for 12 days to ensure a change of outfit each day. We also bought two hats each along the way to add some color to the trip. This made every day feel fresh and fun.
Each of us had our own camera, taking our own photos and helping each other take pictures too. Even when carrying heavy gear, seeing other families enjoying lively group moments or husbands bravely taking charge, we never felt wronged or lonely—because we were the most beautiful and happiest travelers. I know for sure: if I’m optimistic, my child will be too; if I’m confident, so will he be; if I’m strong, he will be as well.
Simply stepping outdoors with family and enjoying nature together is the most basic concept of family outdoor activity that we embrace. The heart spa, inspired by the experiences of the Tao family, took action and created a family outdoor experience with her son. She began to realize that heading outdoors with her child is a meaningful thing to do.
I don’t have professional knowledge or concepts about outdoor sports, but I believe both parents and children should treasure every outdoor activity. We shouldn’t just follow trends blindly or play aimlessly—we need plans, arrangements, and reflections to make it meaningful.
At the same time, I believe that no matter what kind of activity you do with your child, the qualities parents aim to cultivate in them—mental strength, willpower, character, habits—are all interconnected. Perhaps more professional family outdoor activities offer a broader, more diverse, and more challenging experience. So, what I can do now is seize every travel and training opportunity to guide and nurture my child’s willpower and character, preparing them for future participation in youth outdoor programs and more outdoor adventures.
After such an amazing "first time," SpiritualSpa said, "My son understands what I want him to do with just a glance," so she feels more confident about taking her child on outdoor activities in the future. Let’s see how she plans it!
I deeply understand that a boy’s growth must involve being close to nature.
My husband and I have always considered age six as a threshold for our child. Before six, we tried not to travel much, worried he might get sick or not adapt well. Before he turned six, aside from one trip to Fuzhou and Xiamen, and the occasional self-drive outing to the suburbs, we hardly traveled at all. But at age six, we both agree it’s a suitable age to start going out and getting some exercise.
Since his dad is very busy and has no vacation time, the family rarely gets a chance to go on holiday together. So I also contacted youth outdoor organizations to get our child involved in age-appropriate activities, like hiking, wading, camping, etc. I believe it’s also good training for him. As for technical outdoor sports, I’m supportive too—like rock climbing, which is relatively safe and helps build willpower. When he grows up, I’ll encourage him to take part in relatively safe adventure sports.
After reading SpiritualSpa’s words, I believe you can feel the passion she pours into her child, her life, and even her inner world. Only with such passion could she write something so moving.
I’m reminded of her words in "Borrow Some Color from Life": "Did Heaven give us restless souls as a favor? Or as a punishment? I’d rather it be a favor, because I perceive with passion, I wait with love, I weave with dreams, I live through life… I’d rather it be a punishment, because I crave the colors of life, I’ve tasted every bit of the years, I’ve scattered my lingering thoughts, I’ve savored the countless flavors of existence…"
Having taken a spiritual journey with SpiritualSpa, are you even more looking forward to the next installment of the "Family Outdoor Gathering" interview? The October content is even more exciting!