“In my view, it’s never too late to want to change.” Zhao Jieying, a parenting influencer from Parents’ World, quit her high-paying job at age 38 and took her child to study in New Zealand. Who really controls our lives? She tells you through her real actions.
01 A Woman’s Decision at Forty Without Regrets
After a 12-hour flight, the plane touched down at Auckland International Airport, and I officially began my study-abroad life in New Zealand. Yet, from making this decision to landing in New Zealand, it only took me four months.
I’m glad I didn’t delay too long. Without any hesitation or second-guessing, I bid farewell to the industry I had worked in for 15 years and started everything from scratch. Friends asked if it was because of smog or for my child that I made this decision—but in truth, it was for myself.
Over the years at work, difficulties or bottlenecks could always be resolved, but approaching 40, I felt a strong desire to enrich myself. Whether in work or family, I hoped my life would have color—not just repeating the same state as the day before, a repetition that had taken over my life.
How does one want to change, and how can one change? Every day buried in work, constantly rushing forward. Taking time to pause, look back at one’s thoughts, and rethink direction might just open a new door. Encouraged by friends, I traveled to New Zealand with my child and took the opportunity to explore study options.
Finding a major suited to me, one related to my past decade-plus of work, gave me time to reflect on my past experiences and shortcomings, as well as to learn new concepts and methods. This aligned perfectly with my wish to grow and change.
(Taking my child along to study and experience life together)
Life isn’t just about earning money and raising kids. After becoming parents, our own life goals should become clearer and more specific. Many parents cite their children as the reason, but without their own goals or lives, they fritter away years and opportunities. In my view, it’s never too late to want to change.
I grew up in Beijing’s hutongs. Our family wasn’t well-off, and my English was stuck at school level. I sold the only apartment we owned and did all I could to improve my English, making concrete efforts toward my life goals.
Many friends say we’re at the “sandwich” stage—with dependents both old and young, unable to let go of work or family. But I believe only by changing myself first can I create better opportunities for my family. Between decisive action and hesitating doubt, I chose to move forward—and took my three-and-a-half-year-old son to study in New Zealand.
02 Sorting Myself Out and Better Understanding How to Influence My Child
I chose New Zealand because it’s very safe and has a great social environment. People are warm and friendly—it’s a wonderful place to live. Though New Zealand often gives off a “big rural area” vibe, its largest city, Auckland, is already a diverse metropolis where tradition and modernity blend seamlessly. My study life began here.
(Photo shows the Auckland campus of the New Zealand Otago Polytechnic, where I currently study)
Campus life has truly calmed my heart. Beyond gaining knowledge, what studying has brought me most is an expanded way of thinking.
I study at an international student campus of a university, where teachers and students from around the world come together. The teaching methods are flexible and diverse. Every course emphasizes collaboration, group discussions, and case studies, giving students daily opportunities to communicate and work with peers from other countries. Beyond theoretical learning, I’ve gained more in terms of thinking styles and teamwork.
This has benefited me greatly—I can re-evaluate my past work and develop new insights, and I also understand better how to raise a child in such a positive social environment.
The first thing I did upon arriving in New Zealand was arrange childcare for my child. I never had to worry about disparities in kindergarten teaching standards—here, educational resources are evenly distributed, and the dedication and enthusiasm of the teachers were beyond my expectations.
Changes in mindset have also influenced how I educate my child—adding more guidance and creativity, helping him understand attitudes and methods, and learn how to face and solve problems. In New Zealand, there’s so much for children to learn, see, and play with. Families, schools, and society each take on their own educational responsibilities and cooperate with each other. Raising a child here is truly a joy.
03 Sharing Campus Insights and Enjoying Quality Family Time
My coursework isn’t overly demanding, which gives me more time to understand the local society and culture, as well as more time with my child.
New Zealand is a country that highly values family life. Every weekend, parents spend quality time with their children. Outside of studying, I take my child to visit museums, browse weekend markets, or just play by the seaside for half a day. He quickly adapted to local life, and his language skills improved rapidly.
(Visiting the Auckland Transport and Technology Museum with my child)
Studying hasn’t taken over my life—in fact, it’s given me shared topics with my child. Exchanging our campus experiences has become our special activity.
Sometimes my child sees me doing homework, and I tell him what I do to prepare for assignments. I believe these attitudes will influence his views on learning and life. In New Zealand, children start school at age 5. For my son, who will begin elementary school next year, this kind of communication and mindset-building will benefit him for a long time.
Through this process, I’ve grown alongside my child. His school stories help me understand him and children his age better, and our family bond grows closer through communication.
04 A Slower Life Lets Me Rethink and Discover New Opportunities
Once I entered school, I realized that among the students, there are those older than me; some have chosen majors completely unrelated to their work experience and are starting from zero. Yet they remain optimistic and positive, and their overseas lives are going smoothly.
When life returned to its normal rhythm, I also had time to reflect on my own direction. In New Zealand, people can choose jobs based on their interests and don’t have to stick with one career for life. Many people’s professional journeys are highly interdisciplinary, and this ability not only allows them to pursue their passions but also leads to faster growth.
Since I’m still studying, I can’t have a full-time job, but in my spare time, I’ve become a volunteer at the local animal welfare organization SPCA, helping with the rescue of stray animals—something I’ve always wanted to do.
In daily life, I’ve also discovered new hobbies and things I want to do. These have made my life more fulfilling and opened up more directions and possibilities for the future.
(Auckland has a great quality of life, and both my child and I have benefited from it.)
Many parents just want to send their children overseas to study, but I chose to study abroad myself, bringing my child along. This experience has been incredibly rewarding—redefining myself while growing together with my child, discovering untapped potential, striving to realize it, and living a simple, pure, fulfilling, and joyful life every day.
I see many moms who want to change their environment and have the means to do so, but they keep hesitating and never take the first step. In my opinion, opportunities aren’t something you wait for—they’re something you create. Being brave enough to change can open up more possibilities for yourself and your family, and when it comes to life, I always choose to take that next step forward.