The scariest thing is sudden silence. J’s seven principles make conversations flow—no more awkward chats.

By MOOK Scenic Spots’ Liao Weiren   Photo/Unsplash
 
In recent years, dating apps have sprung up like mushrooms, offering new ways to meet people. But how can you warm up a conversation with a stranger you’ve never met before and avoid awkward silences? Here are seven chatting principles to keep the air from suddenly going silent!

1.Never interrogate like a census taker.
 
Questions like “Hi, where do you live? How old are you? What do you do?”—these kinds of invasive inquiries are absolutely forbidden in conversation. It’s extremely rude and disrespectful to want to know everything about someone you’ve just met right off the bat.
 
If you really want to ask something, try using more statement-like phrases to reduce pressure. For example, instead of “Are you free tomorrow?” you could say, “Do you have any plans tomorrow?” And instead of “Are you home yet?” you could say, “Let me know when you get home.”
 
Be careful with your word choices—avoid vague or unclear terms, and stay away from filler words like “ah,” “hmm,” or “oh.”

2.Keep the conversation within the triangle principle.
 
To get closer to the person you’re chatting with, try to center your conversation topics around the “you-me-us” triangle principle. No matter what the topic is, find a way to tie it back to this triangle. This keeps the focus on both of you.
 
Also, avoid irrelevant topics like the weather or traffic. Talk about things that keep the conversation lively, drawing both of you into the discussion and preventing distraction or disengagement due to boring subjects.

3.Find common ground between you.
 
The easiest way to bring two people closer in conversation is to talk about things you both care about or are interested in. So, finding common ground is a very important and effective conversation starter.
 
Having shared interests or opinions is one of the most desired feelings when making friends. Start with what you both like or dislike, then build on that to spark more topics and get to know each other better.

4.Create shared interests together.
 
If there’s not much to go on and you can’t find any obvious common ground, then work to create some. Talk about people, events, or things, and ask the other person for their thoughts or opinions on them. Use these discussions to find or build common points.
 
Once you find a topic the other person is interested in, throw in some of your own ideas, and you’ll open up more space for deeper conversation, keeping the interaction going.