Where does the idea of spontaneous travel come from? The ultimate secrets for a family of three to hit the road are right here!

@ManzhuYu once took her child on a 40-day self-drive tour across four European countries. What ignited her confidence and courage to embark on the journey of family travel? Below is her group sharing in the #Let’sPlayTogether Sprout Science Group#. We hope her experience and insights can help you take the first step in traveling with your child.

As long as you’re well-prepared, there’s nothing you can’t enjoy with your child along the way.

Before becoming a full-time mom, I worked at a newspaper for 12 years. After my daughter was born, after much deliberation, I decided to resign and take care of her myself. It was a tough decision, meaning my daily life would now revolve entirely around a child—worrying about her eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, and playing. I could no longer shop, visit art galleries, or enjoy a leisurely afternoon tea with friends as I used to.

I think every mom goes through a low period after becoming a new mom. When I was feeling down, I’d cry often; when I was in a bad mood, I couldn’t help but lose my temper with my child. After becoming a full-time mom, traveling seemed like an unattainable dream. The monotony and dullness of being consumed by housework and childcare drained most of my time, energy, and patience. During that time, I often felt low, frustrated, and even driven crazy.

When my daughter was 4 months old, we took our first flight to my mother’s home in Xiamen, mainly to visit family. This small trip gave me, who had been mostly stuck at home taking care of the child and managing chores, a sense of relaxation like a shift in time and space. Along the way, I realized that taking a child on a long trip wasn’t as hard as I’d imagined.

From then on, our family trips became more frequent, and each trip lasted longer. We’ve been to Chiang Mai in Thailand and Taiwan. When my daughter was just over a year old, my husband left the company he had worked at for seven years. We planned to take a more in-depth trip while both of us were unemployed, which led to our family’s 40-day self-drive tour across four European countries from May to July last year. Earlier this year, we also went on a 22-day self-drive tour in New Zealand’s South Island. These are all the trips we took with our daughter before she turned 2.

My husband and I have also been asked: Your child is so young, she won’t understand anything on the trip, and you’ll have to take care of her eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, sleeping, and playing the whole way. The adults won’t even have fun—why go through all this trouble?

Actually, the reason we take our daughter on long trips is very simple: because she is a part of our family. Travel isn’t just about eating, drinking, and having fun—it’s also a process of sharing and supporting each other as a family. Of course, for my husband and me, traveling with our child is primarily to fulfill our own needs. Because we want to travel, and at the same time, we also need to take care of our child.

For a child, swinging and sliding on a playground near home is not fundamentally different from doing the same under the Alps in Europe after a ten-plus-hour flight. What matters is that no matter where you go, having parents around to care for and accompany them brings joy and a sense of security.

Although travel is the decision of the adults, bringing a child along means you can’t be completely carefree. How suitable a child is for travel depends on the parents’ understanding of their child, and based on that, you can judge whether it’s appropriate. When it comes to choosing destinations and planning itineraries, there’s a lot to consider when traveling with a child—the key is whether you can prepare well according to the child’s situation. The more thorough the preparation, the higher the quality of the trip.

Before traveling with a child, you need to prepare thoroughly and plan meticulously, but at the same time, you also need to maintain some flexibility during the trip. This requires adults to change their mindset—when making travel plans, you must take the child into account. As the child grows older, they can also be involved in the planning process, which will give them a greater sense of participation and enthusiasm. They’ll look forward to traveling with mom and dad.

If the travel plan is well thought out before departure, the quality of the trip will improve significantly. Especially for longer trips covering multiple regions, it’s essential to do detailed research. Some moms have told me: researching, choosing hotels, and booking flights are too troublesome—it’s easier to join a tour group for peace of mind. But I think traveling with a child, especially a baby, may not be a good fit for group tours. Because children are always unpredictable—a baby might need a diaper change or feeding at any time, and an older child who’s just learning to walk might be more interested in exploring on their own. Tour groups have their own fast pace, so you need to choose carefully.

1. Create a travel guide:

• Refer to travel guidebooks to learn about sights and regions in advance.

• Browse travel forums to read trip reviews and comments on attractions.

• Pay special attention to travelogues that include children, to see if the attractions or activities are suitable for your child, which can serve as a reference.

2. Book flights:

• Book flights directly on the airline’s official website—early bookings may come with discounts.

• When booking on the official site, there are often multiple flight combinations. Where possible, use filters to choose flight times that suit your family—for example, avoid early morning flights, flights with very short layovers, or flights that require changing airports within the same city, all to reduce hassle when traveling with a child.

• You can also book infant meals when reserving your flights.

• If your baby is under 1 year old and meets the size requirements for an airplane bassinet, you can reserve one, so you don’t have to hold the baby during long-haul flights.

• Children under 2 years old pay 10% of the adult full fare and do not get their own seat. Children over 2 years old have their own seat and pay 50% of the adult full fare.

3. Plan the itinerary:

When creating an itinerary, the most important thing is to respect your child’s daily routine. Try to keep their meal and sleep times as consistent as possible with what they’re used to at home. This will reduce any discomfort during the trip and allow both the child and parents to enjoy the journey together.

Although a family trip should be well-planned, the actual execution needs to be loose and adaptable. The key to ensuring everyone feels comfortable on the trip is to slow down and adjust the pace based on the child’s—or the whole family’s—needs.

When traveling as a couple, people often pack their schedule full, trying to fit in as many activities as possible within limited time. But this approach doesn’t work well for family trips. Imagine spending all day running around tourist spots—the adults will be exhausted, let alone the kids. And if the child starts crying or throwing a tantrum, the mood of the whole family can sour. So when planning a family trip, focus on keeping things relaxed and comfortable, avoiding excessive fatigue. Be ready to adjust the itinerary based on how everyone is feeling, and don’t hesitate to cut out some activities if necessary.

For example, during our road trip in Europe, my daughter would cry and fuss every time she was buckled into her car seat, refusing to stay put. After discussing it, my husband and I decided to give her a full play session before each drive—I call it “releasing energy.” After playing and getting a bit tired, she’d settle down in the car seat without complaint. That’s adjusting to your child’s needs while traveling.

If your itinerary is more relaxed, then you’ll need to double the time budgeted for activities. What usually takes an hour at a attraction might take two with a child. So you’ll have to be selective about which sites to visit in a day—for instance, avoid overly strenuous activities—to ensure everyone gets enough rest and minimize the chances of anyone getting upset during the trip.

During the trip, children’s curiosity can lead them to focus intently on something they find interesting—like flowers, ants, or birds—for a long time. My personal advice is not to rush them along just to stick to the adult’s sightseeing schedule. We should respect their curiosity about the world, slow down, and enjoy discovering little joys together in those quiet corners.

I remember one afternoon when we arrived in Annecy, France. My husband was feeling tired from driving and wanted to rest, so I took the child out for a walk. We parked near a spot with lots of pretty wildflowers. I picked one and gave it to my daughter, and to my surprise, she did the same—picking a bunch of wildflowers and placing them in her little food bowl, then handing them to me one by one. I was deeply moved; it felt like she had suddenly grown up, learning to appreciate beauty and share it with me. Even now, whenever I think of that little town in Annecy, I see my daughter handing me those flowers and her bright smile.

Even though parents often spend time with their kids—like playing at the neighborhood park—going on a trip together creates a different feeling. You and your child will remember those special moments you shared, which is something entirely different from everyday life at home.

Does this image resonate with you? A mom reading a book in the bathroom while her child bangs on the door, shouting “Mommy, Mommy!” Perhaps this is the reality for many moms—everyone cherishes even a few moments of solitude, even if it’s just reading a few lines in the toilet.

If you look around at a children’s playground, you might see this scene: the child plays while the parent sits nearby on their phone. There are also popular family travel packages that include meals, accommodations, entertainment, and fitness activities. The hotel suite is comfy, the buffet is endless, and there’s even childcare service. Everything is taken care of, making life easy for the parents.

Many adults crave their own time while traveling, but at the same time, children also want their parents’ company. So how do you strike a balance between the two?

My husband and I are budget-conscious, independent backpackers. We’re always with our child—in simple terms, we just travel with a kid in tow. Figuring out how to get some alone time for ourselves became a top priority. Here are two examples of how we managed it.

• On the road, cooking duties mostly fell to my husband.

Take our time in Europe, for example. In the morning, the first thing my daughter did after waking up was nurse. During that time, my husband got up and made breakfast. At dinner, when my husband cooked, I took care of the child. After the meal, he handled bathtime, brushing teeth, and bedtime stories, while I cleaned up the dishes and got ready for bed. Then I gave the baby her nighttime nursing and put her to sleep. After that, my husband did the laundry and finally had some time to himself.

• When visiting attractions with the child, you can also divide responsibilities.

For instance, in a museum, one person watches the child while the other listens to the guided tour, then you switch. At the RV campsite in Annecy, I let my husband rest after a long drive while I took the child. Once he’d had enough sleep, he rented a bike with a child seat and took her for a ride around the lake, then they went swimming. Meanwhile, I got some rare alone time on the trip.

Many families encounter disagreements or differing opinions while traveling. My husband and I have also had to learn through trial and error to communicate calmly, understand each other’s perspectives, and be willing to compromise. As the master Qian Zhongshu once said, “A trip reveals a person’s true character, because it’s the most exhausting and troublesome experience, bringing out one’s true nature.” Traveling with a young child is also a test for both parents.

My husband and I once enjoyed the freedom of solo travel and the sweetness of couple time. Now, traveling as a family of three with our child is more tiring and leaves less room for alone time, but through teamwork and compromise, our bond has grown stronger.

1. No matter how big the disagreements or conflicts are during the trip, prioritize your child’s needs when they require attention from both parents. Set aside the conflict for the moment. Once the child’s needs are met, you might even forget what you were arguing about, and the couple can resume a calm conversation. Even if the issue isn’t fully resolved and emotions are still raw, don’t take it out on the child.

2. When dads actively participate in parenting, both moms and kids enjoy the trip more. Dads can join in outdoor activities, cycling, hiking, or playful roughhousing with the child. This helps the child associate travel with fun, gradually fostering a love for it.

3. Some parenting disagreements may not have a clear right or wrong. Unless it’s a matter of principle, moms shouldn’t be overly anxious. It’s okay to let go and trust that dads also love the child and will try their best to care for them. Sometimes, it’s fine to let dads try things within safe limits—even if they make mistakes, they’ll learn what works better for the child afterward.

Traveling with children is also a great opportunity to provide them with quality bonding time. Parents need their own space and time, but they also need positive interaction with their child. The goal is to find a good balance. The mark of high-quality bonding is the state of both parents and the child—if everyone is happy and enjoying themselves, then it’s quality time that helps build the child’s sense of security and confidence.

Even with thorough preparation, travel is full of uncertainties. As the saying goes, “Ideals are full, reality is stark.” It’s wise for adults to manage expectations and approach family trips with a calm mindset. The joy of traveling with kids isn’t about how many gourmet meals you eat or scenic spots you see—it’s about enjoying the time spent together as a family.

On every trip, my only wish is for the whole family to have a happy journey and return safely—that’s what’s most precious and worth being grateful for. In truth, our child always surprises us in small, delightful ways, showing us how she’s growing and changing.

This photo shows my daughter at different stages of visiting museums. The one in the top left was taken when she was under one year old—we took her to the Shanghai Expo Park. The top right photo was taken at a museum in Madrid. By then she was over a year old, and because we were afraid she might run around and damage the exhibits, we had to carry her. The bottom photo is from our most recent visit to a museum in New Zealand. She was almost two years old by then and loved looking at the birds in the museum. She didn’t ask to be carried at all during the whole visit, staying focused on spotting the birds by herself.

Take using a car seat as another example.

When we were road-tripping in Europe, the biggest headache was that our daughter would cry as soon as we put her in the car seat. To calm her down, we had to try all sorts of methods—adjusting the itinerary, scheduling naps, giving her snacks, and so on. But on our most recent road trip in New Zealand, she didn’t seem to have that deep-seated aversion to the car seat anymore. Every time we put her in the car, she’d say, “This is my throne. Sitting on the throne means we’re going out to play or get yummy treats.” She’d sit in the car seat playing with little twigs and stones she’d picked up, and when she got sleepy, she’d quietly fall asleep. By the time we arrived, she’d be full of energy and ready to play with us. I think this is also a wonderful surprise brought to us by our child’s growth.

It’s hard to say how much travel has changed my daughter. Travel is just a small part of her growing-up experience—we shouldn’t overstate its impact. Moreover, as children grow through different stages, traveling with them also comes with different challenges.

Maybe when one problem is solved, a new one emerges. For instance, when she was little, we were concerned about what she ate, whether she slept enough, how her gross motor skills were developing... As she grew older, we became more focused on issues like her upbringing and learning abilities. These problems can’t be solved just by traveling. Also, every family has its own circumstances, and every child is unique. Just like there’s no absolute, one-size-fits-all parenting manual, the same goes for traveling with children. It requires adapting with the times, adjusting as the child grows, and the accumulation of travel experience doesn’t happen overnight.

Traveling with children not only brings joy and fulfillment to the little ones in the company of adults, but it’s also very rewarding for the grown-ups. My husband and I feel fortunate that we didn’t give up our own interests and hobbies because of our child, and that we can still enjoy them together.

I see travel as a way to recharge and learn. It helps me understand myself, others, and the world, and it also encourages me to observe and reflect. I pay attention to how moms abroad manage to take two or even more kids out on their own, and at the same time, I wonder why the environment back home makes moms feel so insecure.

In the process of traveling with my child, I’ve gone from being a high-strung career woman to gradually learning how to adjust my mindset and enjoy the moment with my child. Traveling with a child is actually part of parenting. To put it vividly—it’s like taking a walk with a snail. The child leads us to slow down, to see the world anew through her innocent eyes, and to discover the beauty of life and living with a pure heart. So I’m grateful to my child for teaching me to change and strive to become a better person.

There was a time when I felt lost and gloomy, spinning like a top all alone at home, caught up in chores and taking care of the child. A family trip saved me, offering a temporary escape from monotony and dullness. After the trip, life went back to normal, but I had rediscovered myself and my connection to the outside world.

I want to thank my child. That she’s been healthy and safe along the way is truly the most precious treasure in life. The joy she brings us is the most unforgettable scenery in our journeys; the various troubles, big and small, test our patience and wisdom as parents. Most of all, I’m grateful for her companionship, which makes us truly feel the happiness of being together as a family. I love a quote from Tony Wheeler, the founder of Lonely Planet: “Once you decide to go, the hardest part is over.” I’d like to share this with all parents, and look forward to walking the parenting journey together, supporting one another along the way.