Teenagers have a lot of opinions—how do you handle family trips?

Once they turn sixteen, no teenager wants to spend their holidays with their parents, especially the eldest. And let’s be honest, do you really want to spend your holiday with a teen who’s almost an adult? The idea of a family holiday sounds nice, but unless your child gets along well with other teens at the resort, they’ll just moan, complain, and grumble. And then keep moaning.

So, if you’re the more lenient and considerate type and decide to let your child stay home alone while you go on vacation—we have to say, that’s pretty brave—then you’ll need to set some ground rules to make sure they know what’s expected. Here are some of the most important reminders to keep in mind.

We’re not cooking experts, so leaving food and recipes before you go will help.
Otherwise, we’ll be stuck relying on takeout—or might even have to “borrow” food from a friend’s house.

Leave a list of emergency contacts in case anything happens, whether it’s a sick dog (vet) or a broken washing machine (plumber), so someone can handle it.

We definitely recommend asking a local relative or close family friend to check in on your child to make sure they’re alive and everything is under control.

Make sure you leave us enough money for food, essentials, and anything else we might need. You definitely don’t want to come home to find we’ve starved because we couldn’t afford anything at the supermarket. You can ask us to keep all the receipts for your review, but that might seem a bit controlling. You have to trust that we have enough common sense to spend the money on food, and since you’re letting us stay home alone, it’s really not a big deal, right? We won’t let ourselves starve.

You can also tell your child that staying home alone is a great opportunity to prove how mature and responsible they are. Most teens can actually rise to the challenge and show their parents they can act mature and sensible.

Once kids reach mid-to-late adolescence, they often start begging to go on holiday with friends. It sounds scary, but it all comes down to whether you trust your child’s judgment and whether you think they’re responsible enough—but I’d say at least wait until they’re seventeen or eighteen.

" Emphasize to your child the importance of being cautious, not drinking too much, sticking together as a group, and looking out for one another.
" If your child is traveling abroad, it’s also very useful to understand the policies of foreign hospitals in case someone gets sick and needs emergency care.
" Make sure you’re prepared for any issues or emergencies in advance, so you’ll know better than we do what to do.
" It’s best to photocopy all important documents, such as passports and insurance information, and don’t forget to bring any prescription medications and a basic first aid kit.

Of course, there’s a third option: having your child join the family trip but bringing a friend along. If this is feasible, it’s the best option. But before you start brainstorming about who would be the perfect addition to your family trip, there are a few things you should carefully consider.

Will they cause trouble or get along well with the family? You don’t want them ruining the family trip.
Make sure their parents know about the trip, especially if you’re going abroad and the friend’s parents can’t assist their child if something goes wrong. Inform the other parents about the itinerary and make sure they have no objections.

" Illness
" Passport documents
" Their likes and dislikes
" Any allergies
" Calling parents to check in.

Honestly, letting your teenage child stay home alone or travel with friends is a tough call, but if you plan well, coordinate everything, and make sure you’re clear on all the details, everyone will benefit and have a happy, memorable holiday.

Chinese book title: Mom and Dad, Please Listen to Me!--The Honest Words Teenagers Want to Say to Their Parents
Authors: Megan Lovegrove, Louise Bedwell
Publisher: Yuan-Liou Publishing

[Further Reading]

Spoiling Is Not Love – Dedicated to Taiwanese Parents and Children: I Don’t Owe You Anything

Mom and Dad, Please Listen to Me – The Honest Words Teenagers Want to Say to Their Parents

Mom and Dad, how should you give allowances the right way?